.Thursday, October 30, 2008 ' 4:10 PM
confused now,
with many kinda feelings...
i'm going crazy..
reall dam fan now...
suddenly,
only joyce jio me out...
nobody else...
nobody else jios me out...
if some1 jio me out with joyce,
i sure go de...
but nobody...
dam bored at home,
sure think alot of useless stuff...
realised that only joyce is close to me now...
2nd close de is like shihwee?
... haiz...
liyan's attitude towards me makes me feel like she doesn't feel like toking 2 me,
n we're drifting apart...
so,
i didn't tok 2 her much after all...
yang,
i dun have much 2 tell her also ...
so we're not toking much too...
shihwee i do tok 2 her but not much,
joyce too...
like every1's drifting apart..
i feel such a sudden loneliness...
never felt this feeling before,
maybe it's my imagination after all...
loneliness is scary...
as in i wanted to have quietness all along,
but didn't expect quietness could be so scary...
all along,
maybe i should get used to it...
cos i think as i predict,
we won't get into the same secondary school...
and,
with my current character i think those frens i make in secondary wouldn't be true frens...
maybe they just wanna to be with more,
but they will pangseh u often...
nope,
i'm not afraid of ppl pangseh-ing me...
but i dun like the feeling of non close frens,
nobody to confide in...
really confide in de ppl has no1...
the most i talk to is like only joyce?
maybe cos i dun trust rest after all...
not because i dun wanna trust u guys,
but i couldn't get the plain trust i wan 2 have...
it is like something is between us...
making me not to trust loads of ppl...
and that makes my personality...
and i'm feeling that i'm scary myself...
too quiet at moments...
really a crazy person...